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Your Sexual Health Questions

On this page we answer some of the questions our readers send us. If you have a question simply email us and we may have an answer for you.


What is Safer Sex?

    Sex is fun and very healthy if you follow simple rules, like not exchanging body fluids. Avoid penetrative sex without a condom and be careful with oral sex if you have gum disease or mouth ulcers.

Are condoms any good?

    Condoms work about 97% of the time. So if you have daily intercourse, you only risk getting infected about once a month. That risk is too high, you say? Yes, we agree.

What is the best sex position?

    Feel free to enjoy yourself in whatever position you like best. If you're having problems enjoying the ride, try different techniques. This website is full of new ideas. Enjoy!

Can I keep my clothes on?

    Yes, sure. They add some interesting texture and can be quite a tease. Just make sure you take a shower before you play. If you keep your clothes on under the shower, you may be in for a pleasant surprise.

Aren't wet clothes unhealthy?

    Not unless you get too cold. Wet clothes add a wonderful new dimension to your sex life. Even while getting dressed for wet fun, the anticipation of a beautiful experience gets many aroused.

Anatomy of your Favourite Toy

At what age does penis growth start?

    Penis growth usually starts between 10 to 14 years old. The testicles enlarge first and pubic hair starts growing. The penis grows in length first and girth slightly later. Teenagers have to wait for one or two years after they stop growing in height before they know their final penis size.

Can the size of erection be estimated when the penis is flaccid?

    There is no relationship between flaccid and erect penis size. Often penises that are longer when they are flaccid gain less length when they are erect.

Can penis exercises increase length?

    The penis contains no muscles so there are no exercises that will permanently increase its size. You can do Kegel exercises to improve your erections, which in turn make it look bigger and feel better.

My friend's penis curves upward when it is erect, and mine doesn't. Why is that? Our penises are the same size.

    Every penis is built a little differently. Some curve down, and some curve to the left or right when erect. As long as it provides pleasure, it shouldn't matter what shape it is.

What are Blue Balls?

    Prolonged sexual arousal in men without an ejaculation can cause pain due to blood congestion in the genital area. "Blue balls," which is properly called vasocongestion, is a discomfort in the male pelvic area caused by sexual arousal going unrelieved by ejaculation.

    The cure is to ejaculate if you have been sexually aroused for a while. Your body doesn't care whether you ejaculate through vaginal intercourse, manual intercourse (i.e., your partner's hands), or masturbation.

    If not relieved by ejaculation, the congestion will go away within a few hours. It is quite unethical to use "blue balls" to pressure your partner into intercourse.


I'm not circumcised. What's the white stuff that builds up on the inside my foreskin? How can I stop it from building up?

    The substance is called smegma, a secretion of the glans (head) of the penis. There's no way to reduce the amount of secretion, but the buildup can be easily prevented.

    For circumcised men, the smegma washes off easily and does not accumulate, but if you're uncircumcised you need to include a simple procedure in your bathing habits.

    Whenever you bathe, simply retract your foreskin as much as is comfortable, and wash the glans as well as the area of skin behind it.

    This takes only a few seconds and should reduce or eliminate the buildup you described. You may find that a hard-on will make this cleansing easier and more fun.

I often feel the need to urinate after ejaculation. Is this normal?

    Yes. That is very normal. The urine cleans the urethra of residual semen that didn't get ejaculated. If the semen dries in there, it plugs the urethra and urinating later may be uncomfortable. Drink plenty of water.

Some say that anal sex is quite good. Is that true?

    Anal sex is the most dangerous sexual practice, both for the risk it brings for contracting disease, and for the damage it does to your sexual and rectal functioning. Keep in mind that if you choose to practice anal sex with males, you won't get to be top every time. You'll may have to take turns being top and and bottom.

Is it OK to be gay but not interested in anal sex?

    Yes, absolutely. This is very common, but not many gays admit it for fear of rejection. Let your friends know that this is not your game. Instead point to the exciting alternatives you find on this website, like fun in wet clothes.

Is it OK to masturbate in a whirlpool bath with your penis completely submerged in water?

    Yes, that can be a very sensual experience, especially if you wear soft loose fitting clothes. Be sure to keep your penis away from the water jets.

I have been addicted to masturbating since my teens. Is it going to kill my sexual potential? I am a bit worried as I am going to get married.

    It's not really an addiction. It's just a fun habit that is also good for keeping your sexual anatomy in good health. Your sexual potential is apt to be higher than that of a person who has never masturbated.


Is it OK to masturbate in your shower at home?
    Of course it is, and a very clean way to enjoy your favourite pleasure. Any cum just washes away, leaving you blissfully relaxed and clean.

    We recommend you also try it with clothes on under the shower. Wet clothes provide a wonderful sensual experience. Try different clothes to see how they feel when wet.

    Share your shower with a friend to save water and have more fun. Other users would probably want you to clean up afterwards.

Every morning I masturbate in my pyjamas, but it makes such a mess. Shall I shower in my pyjamas?

    Yes, that is a good idea. The loose fitting pyjamas feel amazing when they get wet. Lather up with lots of shampoo. This may cause a more intense orgasm.

I've awakened to find semen in my pyjamas many times now. How cum?

    You obviously don't masturbate enough, so nature takes care of it for you. Don't be lazy. Exercise. Before bedtime enjoy a bath in your sportswear until you cum. You'll sleep a lot better. In the morning masturbate in your pyjamas under the shower.

Whenever I wear loose clothes, I get an erection. Is this normal? (age 18)
    Yes. At your age or younger, it is very normal to get an erection when you wear something over your genitals that is different from your normal clothing. This is why wet clothes can be such a thrill. The water adds an extra sensual texture. Most men say it is something tighter (like a swimsuit that is too small) that causes them to get an erection. However, tight underwear is not healthy if you get frequent erections, as it limits the blood supply. Loose shorts are much better.

I never get to orgasm or ejaculation while masturbating. After 10-15 minutes I get bored and quit. What's the deal with me?
    When you get a thought in your head that REALLY turns you on, just concentrate on it and stroke as fast and hard as you can until you have an orgasm. It's actually easier if you don't start masturbating until you're very turned on. Wet clothes can be a big help for that because of the sensual feeling you get.

    Once you've discovered how to bring yourself to orgasm, then you will want to moderate your stroke intensity and rate. Experiment with different clothes in the bath. See what turns you on the most. After a while you will be able to last longer, which will help when you play with friends.

Condoms and Toys

Is it OK if I masturbate with a condom on? Is there any condom type or brand that is good to masturbate with?
    Yes, many guys find masturbating with a condom to be fun, but not many do it that way often. Condoms are all about the same, except you probably want a lubricated one. If you just use them to masturbate, you don't have to worry about the expiration dates.

    If you keep expired ones on hand for masturbating, it's a good idea to mark them with an "X" in black marker so you know not to use it for sexual intercourse when you get to that point.

    We prefer full body condoms, like hiking capes made from soft nylon or such. They feel really good when wet and slide beautifully on each other, great for wet frottage. You can cum inside them or onto the poncho of you friend. Ideal for safe sex.

    Don't rain capes for penetrative sex, which should be avoided anyway.

Have you heard of massaging the prostate with a vibrator through the skin between the anus and the penis? Somebody told me he got a good orgasm by sticking the vibrator into his rectum but I'm afraid to do that.

    It may be unwise to stimulate your prostate with any machines. You could damage the perineum by being too rough with the vibrator. The perineum contains nerves and blood vessels that serve your private parts and anus. You want to keep it in good working order.

    There are some passive prostate massagers with no moving parts or batteries. They look a bit like a small penis with a handle on it and a round thing to push against your G-spot. It is designed so you can lose it in your rectum. It works when you tighten your PC muscle (the one you use to stop peeing) by pushing gently against the prostate. This can lead to powerful ejaculations if done properly.

    In some cases, a medical prostate massage done by a doctor who knows what he's doing, can produce a copious ejaculation. However, this will probably not be accompanied by an orgasm, and ejaculations without orgasm are not especially enjoyable. Please don't abuse the medical profession for your sexual pleasure.

Morals and Traditions

I was wondering why our private parts are so private. How did it start with those body parts becoming so secret and hidden?
    It varies across cultures, but most have kept private parts private since before recorded history. It's probably connected to those parts being used for reproduction, sexuality, and elimination. Most religions have scruples about keeping those parts covered.

    However, in warm countries in the privacy of their own homes, it has long been a custom to run around naked among family and close friends. So invite like minded pals and have a relaxed cosy party. Once you're at ease with each other then the fun can begin.

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